God speaks to me in a multitude of ways, but I haven’t always heard His voice.

During my younger teen years I thought God was done with me. I hadn’t heard His voice but kept being told God speaks. This made me feel like God didn’t want to reach me because I couldn’t hear Him. After years of growth and hardship I now look back and realize I was plugging my ears to what God had to say. I didn’t want to change my ways! I wanted to live how I wanted to.

When I surrendered my life to God I began to hear His voice through scripture. I’ll never forget the night I came home from youth group and I cried out to God with tears sliding down my cheeks. My bible, which was on the edge of my end table, fell open to Jeremiah. I picked it up and read the scripture that my eyes shot straight to.

The verse was “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” “O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!””
Jeremiah 1:5-8

I wept when I read this. I was believing so many lies and in that moment, God set me free.

Because I surrendered my life to God, I began to hear from Him. It started as reading Bible verses that hit home and then more supernatural things started to happen. Years later, of growing in my faith, I began to have visions. I began to have dreams. I began to have feelings impressed on me from God.

Now, God and I speak everyday through prayer. And now I am aware of His voice.

Because God is always speaking…

Submitted Anonymously on 9/5/2022

As I share this part of my story, I can’t help but feel like I am a little behind for my age! Yet, when I look back and think about how I arrived at this point in my story, I realize that I am exactly where God had planned for me to be. I am a lifelong Christian that has had many opportunities to grow in my faith. Some good, some very trying.  I have experienced a lot of spiritual growth in the past couple years since attending NRC.  Some of which I totally understand, some I have yet to understand and some I need to just trust God in.

About 6 months ago I found myself at the beginning of a significant transition in my life and in my family’s life.  During this time, it seemed that every time I opened my Bible, or read a devotion, the word ‘perspective’ kept popping up.  This was a word that I had spent quite some time with a year or so ago in my first small group, Suffer Well, but the context didn’t seem to fit what I was going through now. I wasn’t quite sure why, or where this was leading me. A few weeks went by and then the word ‘trust’ mixed with perspective. I wanted to know why and where these fit into my life. What was I supposed to be seeing? The hardest thing for humans…patience & listening. At least for this human sometimes!

As I sat in Church one Sunday morning listening to the announcements, City on a Hill was highlighted. I nudged my husband and said, “We should do this.” He nodded and leaned over and replied, “I can’t. It’s my annual fishing trip, but you should go.” “Yeah, okay”, I thought to myself. I wanted to go, but I didn’t know if it was for me. I didn’t know if I was qualified or ready for this.

It took a couple of weeks to fill out the interest form and I was still trying to figure out if I could do this, which actually meant I was trying to find any excuse not to go.  Something inside just wouldn’t let it go.  I HAD to go, and I didn’t know why.  I know Holy Spirit was working there!  I paid my money and didn’t look back.

I cannot express the degree of AMAZING that trip was.  It was physically hard at times and they challenged us to lean in and dig deep into our hearts, sometimes uncovering things that were not pleasant.  They challenged us to use what God has so graciously given us and to test our abilities.  I had to trust that whatever was asked of me, God would walk me through.  There were 24 very different brothers & sisters in Christ, hand-picked from very different times in their lives.  Each one with a different perspective (there’s that word).  The individual spiritual growth that was witnessed and the bond made was wonderful!

As I returned and went through a decompression and unpacking of thoughts, I realized that the two words (perspective & trust) that had been surfacing, had been brought to light on that trip in so many ways. I also realized that it was not just the duration of the trip that they applied to. God had changed my heart, now I needed to apply it.

Recently my husband and I were at our cabin when we had to run into town. We decided to go have a nice lunch and run our errands.  We were turning into the Best Buy lot in Eau Claire and there was a woman sitting on the corner with a sign that I think said “homeless”. (I had seen many who resembled this when I was on my mission trip. In fact, I was one for about 40 hours!) I was concerned for her. I started looking around the truck, my purse, for something.  A granola bar, or something, anything.  My husband was confused about why I needed food, as we just left the restaurant! I saw her, felt her pain in where she was at that point in her life. I could not stop thinking about her, what she must be going through. I needed to help her.

You see, this behavior was not what my husband would typically expect from me pre-City on a Hill trip.  This incident, and my reaction, made me think of when we had a cabin up north many years ago. When you enter Superior from the Bong Bridge there is a stop that you must make to enter back onto Highway 2.  There were always homeless people sitting at that corner. I would see them and feel compassion for them, but never had a feeling that I could do anything to change their situation!  I wanted to look at them, but didn’t want to see them.  I didn’t want to feel sad or guilty for not helping.  It wasn’t that I didn’t have compassion or want to help, I just didn’t believe there was anything I could do. Fear and uncertainty played a part for me.  Am I doing the right thing? What will they do with what I give them?

I think differently now.

My perspective has changed in many areas of my life! The biggest is that I now love all people for people, for you don't know their stories. A smile, a kind word, or a pleasant gesture can make a difference to someone. God never stops loving us for the person He knows us to be. Should we not do the same?

I didn’t see going on the mission trip as obedience until a friend pointed it out to me after I returned. I didn’t see that my perspective of people needed more attention.  I didn’t see the safety I had in God until I fully trusted Him.  All things I knew and understood, yet didn’t see.

I am excited to see how God is going to continue to bless me and use me for purposes that are pleasing to Him.  My job is to trust Him and be led.  I am so thankful to God for being patient and continuing to speak to me until I get it!

I am loved.
I am saved.
I do have a purpose.
I can help people even if I feel like I’m not qualified. God knows what I am capable of, and will make it known to me if I am listening! He will do the same for you. I can’t wait to continue this story with Him.

Submitted by Theresa B. on 8/31/2022

I grew up going to church.
 
But not this kind of church.
 
I did all the things—the things you were "supposed" to do. From Sunday school to sitting near the front row, I did it and thought it was the right way. It was a church of obligation, that box you check. Even doing "all the things" and being in church, I couldn't tell you a thing about Jesus or the Bible. In fact, I can't even remember opening one. Not even once. This was my way for 30 years.
 
It didn't take me long being at North Ridge to realize my way wasn't "the way." The way I lived wasn't the way of Jesus or filled with His Truth and His life. The life of rituals and religion did not steer me near to God or fill me with any of the love and Truth the Bible held for me.
 
Fast forward six years, and my heart has changed. With my change of heart has brought a new passion to my soul.
 
The deepest desire of my heart is to share the Truth of Jesus Christ and who He really is.  The real Jesus.  The man who ate with sinners and wept at the loss of His friend.  The man who begged God to take this cup if it was His Father’s will. My every thought and passion of my soul revolves around this very desire.
 
I am a hairstylist by trade. Even though that is my profession, it is not my identity.  My identity lies in Jesus and being a spiritual leader to the people around me and beyond.  Actually, being a spiritual leader has a lot in common with being a hairstylist.  You might be thinking, but how??  Well, my friend, let me tell you.
 
The secret behind my job (and my very favorite part) is building relationships.  The same is true in being a spiritual leader.  Trust comes with time, and openness comes with trust.  People trust me with so much more than making their hair look pretty.  I get to be a part of every corner of their lives.  But building this trust with my clients has been a long process through many appointments and vulnerable and honest moments shared about life—the good and the not, the achievements, the milestones, and the low spots too.
 
A person’s faith life is deeply personal.  We all have different stories and reasons as to why we have the faith we do or reasons why we don’t.  It’s no wonder why being a spiritual leader involves building relationships. 
 
Trusting someone else with something that is so profoundly personal takes time and vulnerability, both on their part and mine.  I’ve learned it’s the openness of my brokenness that is the foundation of this trust.
 
I love to share the Truth of the Gospel whenever I can.  But I have learned to meet people where they are at.  If that means sharing a cup of coffee and listening instead of sharing the Word, well then, that is what I do.  If that means bringing an overwhelmed, new mama a meal, then that is what I do. 
 
Jesus was in it in the real moments of life with the people He interacted with.  Very often, it’s in the real moments of life that hearts are opened just a little more to letting Jesus in just a little more.
 
A friend once told me that it’s not “if” your wingspan believes; it’s “when.”  I hold fast to this because I want everyone to know the real Jesus, especially those near and dear to my heart.  I don’t want just to spend this life with my loved ones.  I long to spend eternity with them.  And with Jesus.  My heart’s desire is to share the fullness of His love and His ways for the real moments of life here and now too.  This isn’t always accepted, and it’s not always easy.  But it is possible even in the seemingly impossible people in your life.
 
This is why relationships matter, and being real matters, and why sharing faith is more than just preaching the Gospel.  It’s building trust over time in the dust and dirty parts of life. 
 
Quite honestly it’s a process that I can start, but it’s up to the other person and God to finish.  I can plant the seed in so many ways, but God will do the watering.  Not everyone is ready for God in the moments we are there to share.  Maybe “no” in the moment is simply an “I’m not ready yet.”  Those are the moments where just being there, just showing up, is what I know I need to do.  These are the moments I know it’s not under my control.
 
Mathew 19:26 says, “Jesus looked at them and said, “with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
 
I see no one as being impossible to reach because God is behind my purpose.  Even in the moments I feel discouraged, in the moments I hear the “no’s” from those near and dear to my heart, I see it as a “not yet.”  Instead of defeat, it’s an opportunity to love like Jesus in a different way.  It’s a building of trust, and more time is needed.  It’s an “I understand, my friend, and I will meet you where you are at.”
 
If someone would have told me six years ago, this would been the desire of my heart; I would have laughed and said I have other plans. Now my plans are His plans, and I cannot wait to see where His plans lead me. So, for now, I will continue to follow where He leads me. I believe my story is far from complete, to be continued…

Submitted by Ashley V. on 8/25/2022

Sometimes it is so hard to not see what you want, what you pray for and what you know is God’s heart for the ones you love the most. I love my children deeply but I desire them to know and embrace God’s love even more. I think it is even more difficult when my wife and I know, in spite of our imperfections, that we spoke God’s truth to and over our children. We have vivid memories of planting the seed of faith in them at an early age! Yet, as an adult, one of our sons is still far from God.
 
Our family takes comfort in the saving power of Jesus because of God’s faithfulness to our family in past generations. My wife’s grandparents came to know the Lord as their savior in their 50’s. The transformation impacted them so much that every Sunday they would pick up their grandchildren and bring them to church! They faithfully prayed for my wife, her siblings, and cousins to embrace Jesus until they died. They showed them the love of Jesus, modeled living Christ-centered lives, and shared the truth of Jesus’ salvation with them. However, it was not until after their death that the results were displayed.

They never saw 4 of their grandchildren go against the grain of their own parents and accept Jesus as their personal savior. It wasn’t until their legacy of faith was all that was left of them on earth that their passionate pursuit of Jesus was multiplied through the salvation of their loved ones. It is so hard to not see the results you want, but that doesn’t mean our prayers go unanswered!

My wife and I sincerely pray for our son daily and we display unconditional love to him so that he knows he does not have to perform or believe in God for us to love him.  We simply love him because he is our son. Yet, we have faith and believe that through God’s grace, Jesus’ example, and Holy Spirit’s conviction; our son will be led back and make the decision for himself to embrace the heart and goodness of God. It is in His timing, not ours, that our son’s knee would bow and his tongue would acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

"...At the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:10-11

Submitted Ralph N. on 8/25/2022

My dad and I did not have a good relationship for a long time. I honestly just wanted to be away from him. I want to be away from most people most of the time, but especially him. A year after my parents got divorced, I began coming to church. I started to see that church was helping me. I realized God was always with me and I could talk to Him. He was pulling together my mental health and showed me I wasn’t alone in my struggles. 

I started asking dad to come with me. This happened for like two years. I’d ask every week if he’d go to church and he’d say “no” or  “depends on how I feel in the morning.” Sunday morning would come and I’d say “let's go to church”, but he’d say “I never told you I actually would.”

Finally it was almost Easter of 2021 and I started ramping up asking Him to come with me. “It’s Easter tomorrow, let’s go to church.” Before I even woke up Easter morning, he already had a drink in his hand. But this time, he followed through and we came to church! During worship I could tell He felt something, he was into it.

Dad found God again. He had been living life for himself, but God changed all that. It took a few months, but our relationship started getting better because his drinking had stopped and he was caring about how we felt. He started reading the Bible and really living it out. Now our relationship is a hundred times better than it was! Like, I actually want to be around him.

All of this has definitely shown me God can move mountains! He moved this grown man from years of addiction to live his life for his family and God. I can trust that God will be there when something needs to be done. And if He doesn’t do what I want, I just have to trust Him and I know that He has a plan through everything.

Submitted by Lorella K. on 8/16/2022

I grew up in a small town in the heart of Illinois called Chicago. I grew up in a Christian home with my mother and five siblings, in a two bedroom apartment on the city's south side. We, for the most part, were happy and we had Jesus in our lives. Mom was the daughter of a southern pastor and we came from a long line of God fearing down-home southern Christians who knew and spoke the word of God each and everyday.

When I was young I became sick, very sick. I found out that I had a very rare kidney disease that there was no cure for.  The only thing doctors could do was treat the kidneys, not the disease. They said no one lives beyond the age of sixteen. To have found out all of this at a young age made me kind of bitter and question things about my life.

Things got better at the age of ten and I was discharged from the hospital on May 03, 1974. I remember that day, for it was the day I prayed and asked God to never allow me to die in a hospital, spend another night in one, and to fix me from this illness. Later that year, I had another kidney flair up where my body retained so much water that I had swelled up to twice my normal body size, and had a fever of 106. My mom was very worried, so she called the doctor who told her to bring me into the hospital.

As my mom was preparing to haul me to the hospital in the late evening on a snowy night, she had to get all the other kids in the house. My older brother was attending a church revival, and mom wanted him to be home so she could know all her kids were at home safe before we left. When he came home, he suggested that we call the pastor at church and have him pray for me. We called the church and spoke to a very tired sounding pastor. He prayed for about 3 minutes but before he did, he asked me only two questions. One, if I knew Jesus Christ as the Son of God, and two, did I believe in my heart, that Jesus Christ can heal me. The answer to both questions was YES!!

The next thing I knew, I felt a hand going down my back! A finger touched the right side and the the left side of my back, and twisted in the middle. Then, the hand started to leave my body. THE WEIRD PART ABOUT THIS IS...There were only 3 people in that room, and everyone had their hands up in the air! Somehow a seventh hand was present and that hand touched my body! I was crying uncontrollably, then I looked down at my body and saw that all of the swelling was gone. I was a normal child, but still had the kidney disease, it just didn't have me anymore!

I was ten when that healing took place. The day after I graduated from high school I turned 18. I had beat the odds for my illness so I decided to explore the world. I joined the military and went everywhere they sent me. But God was not done with me. He brought me back from the military and placed me in a very small town, Marshfield. He has changed the way I view what life is about and how it's to be lived. We only have one life to live and in all my years here, I have seen God's hand move and do some amazing things as He always do. He is not done with me.

Submitted Anonymously on 8/3/2022

When I was a child, I was brought up in a divorced family and lived with my mother and stepdad. Though we were constantly busy, my mom would take me and my brother to a catholic church almost every Sunday. Yes, I believed in Jesus, but because I didn’t really have a great relationship with either my father or stepdad, I struggled to really understand, or even want to understand God. I don’t believe I ever felt love from either of my dads, and I longed to feel loved by a man. So I started dating at a young age.

I got married, for all the wrong reasons, at the very young age of nineteen and became pregnant by my oldest son’s father. I had my first son at twenty, and 6 weeks before my husband came back from being overseas, I realized it had changed him big time. I couldn’t handle it. Whenever times would get hard, I‘d put myself in fight or flight mode. When I couldn't handle it any longer, I would flee. Because I always longed for the feeling of being loved, I was always in a relationship and had never been single for more than a month or two. I always had a back-up plan.

When my son was almost two, I decided to join the military myself. I thought maybe then I’d feel like I belonged. I ended up getting pregnant, unexpectedly, when I came home on my leave. When I got home, I debated on having an abortion because I wasn’t in a relationship, and I wasn’t in a great place in my life. I finally decided that I was going to keep the pregnancy, and at 22 weeks, I found out my baby had hypoplastic left heart syndrome, meaning he was missing half of his heart. Again, I decided not to end my pregnancy. I carried him full term, and he was beautiful! He only lived for two days. I held him in my arms as he took his last breath.

I was at the lowest of lows and I was mad at God for doing this. To make things worse, only a couple of months later, I got into a horrible relationship. He was the perfect charmer and said all the right things at the right time, so I married him. Then I came to find out he’d been in prison, and while he was married to me, he was also married to another woman. He was extremely abusive in all ways; physically, emotionally and mentally, to the point where I felt stuck and afraid he was going to kill me. I was able to get out, but only because he committed a crime, and he was put back in prison. Thankfully, I was able to get an annulment. As usual, I felt so alone that I jumped into another relationship.

In the mix of all these relationships, I had been married twice and engaged three other times. I finally told myself, "Stop searching for what you think you need and put your trust in God.” Songs have so much meaning to me, and the song “Woman at the Well” hit me deep. The song talks about how Jesus meets a woman who’s been married before, and when He is talking to her He knows that the man she is with is not her husband. Still, He stays there by her side. I never really read the bible before hearing the song, but the song is about John 4:4-26.  

I met my current husband and, let me say, we have a very safe and secure relationship. In the beginning of our relationship I was still in the fight or flight mode, but he never let me walk away. He taught me that we had to figure things out. He’d grown up going to North Ridge Church. Because I grew up Catholic, I was very unsure and I was trying to find my way back to trusting God. Another thing I was very unsure about, was giving 10% of what little money I made in tithes to God. But my now husband told me that his family always did it, and were never short on money, and had many blessings! This just never made sense to me and I remember thinking, “We are buried in debt. How is giving 10% of our income going to help us?” I tell you all this because Jesus knew what I needed, and in tithing He has blessed us abundantly. We are paying off debt quickly, enjoy giving to missions and we’re having fun with it! After all, it is God's money; I just had to stop putting myself before Him.

A couple of years ago, right after we got married, I became extremely sick without explanation. Shortly after that, my mother-in-law found out she had cancer. Then, a short time later, we found out we were pregnant after being told I may not be able to get pregnant. I had so many emotions going through me! I was happy, sad, and scared, all at once. This again put me to the test and I was very heavy hearted. My mother-in-law told me that we need to pray, and that God hears our prayers. After finding out I was pregnant with another little boy, I was afraid to have another son because I didn't know if I could love him or give him the best life after the loss I already suffered. But I must say, he is the greatest blessing, and I am so thankful I am able to watch this little boy grow!

Although we prayed, my mother-in-law passed away. Her death was the hardest, yet best thing that could have happened to me. In the last couple weeks before her passing, I felt I was losing my husband to his grief, and my only choice was to trust in Jesus and put Him over everything. And Jesus strengthened our marriage. My mother-in-law taught me so much, and she was always there for me. Even though she did not win the battle against cancer, she fought hard and pushed me forward. Knowing Jesus is by my side is the reason the poem “Footprints” is my favorite. Prayer is a powerful thing. When I thought God was never there, that was when He was carrying me. And now, I am fully committing my life to Jesus, and I know He is over everything. He has blessed me and my family immeasurably.

Submitted Anonymously on 7/20/2022

I was born and raised in Milwaukee and had a difficult time as a child cuz of ADHD and ODD.  When I was young there were no diagnoses for these behavioral disorders, which meant no treatments.  As these conditions got worse in my early teens I began to rebel and disrespect my father which led to me being placed in foster homes at the age of 13.  This meant going from being raised as a strict Baptist to no spiritual guidance at all, except for my last foster parents.

I was the first man in my family history to graduate from high school, and shortly after graduation I was living on my own and working a full time job.  At 20 I thought I was in love and married my first wife only to find out later it really wasn’t love.  We stayed together for 12 years because of our two children but the marriage ended in divorce.

After my divorce when I was about 31 I became a karaoke DJ.  I became immersed in the bar scene, including private gigs, different shows, and even a biker club. I enjoyed all the new friends I was making in this lifestyle. In fact, after hitting a deer on my Harley Davidson motorcycle the first four phone calls I got to check on me were friends from the bars.  I got deeper into the bar scene, more drinking, fighting, illegal behavior and drug use, and even a cocaine dealer.  Things got steadily worse, but at that time it all just seemed normal.

During my time in the bar scene I met a woman who would be my second wife.  When we presented an opportunity to get out of the drug and fighting scene we took it, and I began driving truck.  When she became pregnant with our second child we got married; but this marriage was also rough.  I was still drinking, with alcohol taking the place of drugs.  This resulted in my wife and I splitting up many times, even divorcing, remarrying and then divorcing again.

After my second divorce my drinking got steadily worse, going from drinking on the weekends, to every night, to drinking from the time I woke up until I went to bed.
 
The more I drank, the more people wanted to give up on me, and the more miserable and depressed I became.  I was caught in a vicious cycle.

My daughter began going to North Ridge Church on Wednesdays for Yth and she started asking me to go to church with her, but I was usually too drunk on Sunday morning to go.  I began to realize God was tugging at my heart over the past four years of my battle with alcohol.  I spent many nights in my garage or on my porch, drunk, crying out to God for help, but I was always too drunk to see that my little girl asking me to go to church was the help God was sending!

Finally, on Easter of 2021 she caught me Sunday morning before I was too drunk and begged for me to go to Easter service.  The series was Hope of Heaven, and God filled my heart with the desire to go every Sunday to see how the series ended.  I missed the next Sunday, but on April 25th God said enough is enough, and during worship God grabbed me and I could sense His love.  I had tried to quit drinking so many times but the cravings were so strong I couldn’t go a day without caving in and drinking.  I finally realized I was putting those cravings for that bottle of alcohol before God.

And, during the song, House of Miracles, I finally found what I could never find in the bottom of a bottle, the grace of God!  I told God, “If you want this worthless man, you can have him because I can’t do this alone anymore!”
 
I didn’t just give my life to Christ, I began a relationship with Him.

His love and mercy took away every desire for alcohol, and my attitude changed from a bitter and angry man to having love and kindness in my heart!  My failing business turned around, friends I had hurt were shown forgiveness, and broken relationships have since been rekindled.  Forgiveness filled my heart for a sibling that I had disowned and wished death upon; and my children, who wanted nothing to do with me, now come to see me and spend time with me.

My most proud moments now are when local police, school faculty, and other people around my family say they can see a difference in me, and can see that my kids look up to the “good Paul,” with Christ in his life.  And, during a recent counseling session about the excellent progress our son has made, my ex-wife said, “all the credit goes to Paul for the changes he’s made in his life.”  For her to say that was a miracle.

The miracles I have witnessed in the past 10 months are unexplainable, and I give all the credit to God for those miracles and the life I have today!
 
His love, mercy and grace have showered over my children, my life, and myself.  The friendships I have made at North Ridge Church and the things I am learning are amazing.  I love you all and I pray that if you are reading this, and you are putting something above God; whether it’s alcohol, drugs or anything else, just cry out to Jesus.  He is a loving God who has a plan for you.

Don’t waste anymore time searching under a rock when the light is above.

Submitted by Paul K. on 2/15/2022

I came to know Jesus at seven years old for the first time, but it wasn't until sixteen that I really grasped the depth of how much Jesus loves me. My life at a very young age was chaotic. I lived in a household where sexual, verbal, emotional, and physical abuse took place. It became my normal. I remember nights where I would cry out to God to take my life because I was afraid of what tomorrow would bring.

God's plan for me was not suicide.

I lived in an abusive home for 15 years before I found freedom from the mental chains of darkness. While living in abuse God brought my attention to Him. I became obsessed with Him. I remember at age five praying outside by my favorite lilac bush that God would give me wisdom every day. It went something like this, "I ask dat you given me all na wisdom I need for tonay."

Did I even know what wisdom was at age 5? Probably not, but God knew.

Two years later, at age seven, I pulled my mom's sleeve as the communion was being passed at church. I looked at her with a pouty face begging for the grape juice to quench my thirst and the cracker to fill my gurgling stomach. She refused. She quickly explained that we would discuss it later.

I made it through the entire church service without stealing any grape juice or crackers; however, I did flip upside down every cup my family left behind to get a drop of juice on my tongue.

Later that day, I reminded my mom of her refusal to give me the yummy stuff at church. She sat me down on her bed and told me what communion was. I half listened and half dreamt of the juice that would be in my hands next month. She finished teaching me about communion and asked me if I wanted to be "saved". I anxiously said yes. I didn't want to die and go to hell, and I also really, really wanted those crackers (they were the kind she never bought us).

She held my hands, and I squeezed my eyes shut. We prayed a prayer that I can't remember word for word, but I feel it in my soul still today. I remember when my mom approached amen my eyes shot open, and I felt excited.

I ran through the living room shouting, "I AM SAVED!"

My feet picked up off of the floor and the realization of being rewarded with grape juice and crackers didn't matter anymore. The feeling faded away.

I felt safe. I felt lighter.

I grabbed my sister MarySue's hand and dragged her onto the front porch. We stood on the edge, by the stairs, shouting to the stars that I was free.

"I am FREEEEEEEEEE"

I am free.

Isaiah 43: 1-3
But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
    O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
    I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
    I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
    you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
    you will not be burned up;
    the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

God never let me drown.
He never let me burn up.
He is faithful and He is so, so good.

Submitted by Liberty B. on 12/11/2021

As the oldest daughter in my family, I was the first in many things. Perhaps the hardest was being the first to leave my father. He was not an agreeable man, unless, of course, you were agreeing with him.

I was twenty-three, ready to leave for my first year of college. It was time for me to say good-bye. I went out into the backyard, looking for him. I found him, his face set like stone, staring hard at the horizon. I leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek; he turned his face the other direction. My heart pulsed in pain for the ten thousandth time as I ached for his approval and, now, for his blessing.
 
When I arrived at school I remember one of the driving intentions I had was to find out what actual power my father had over me? I pressed just about every professor at college with questions. I was desperate to make sense of the chronic fear and confusion in my life. I was desperate to understand, I was desperate to be understood.
 
Two years went by; I finished college, and I returned home. By this time my health had completely deteriorated from years of chronic stress and I was in a position where it was necessary for me to depend on my father to take care of me.

I was humbled, I was angry, and I prayed.
 
“Lord, how will I ever heal? I’m constantly under stress here! I need you to provide a literal home for me that is safe, but how can this happen for me? I am not well enough to work a full-time job, I’m completely stuck; completely dependent on You!”

A few months later, my father came home from work and said to me: “Hey, I met someone at work today whose looking for someone to care for and to live in their home for six months, is that something you’d be interested in?” Six months, rent free…a house to myself.
 
I’ll never forget the feeling of my first night there. I sprawled out face-first on the bed. It was quiet…I could hear my own breathing, I could hear my own thoughts. The atmosphere of stress was gone. I had been given a place to land, a space to heal. I would go on to spend seven winters in that home. Each season, growing in understanding God’s heart for me, becoming okay with letting what my father couldn’t give me go. So many beautiful exchanges happened. Self-contempt for self-care, hopelessness for healing, rejection for acceptance. Hatred for forgiveness.

”[I] will be the stability of your times, an abundance of salvation, wisdom and [understanding]. The fear of the Lord is [your] treasure.” - Isaiah 33:6

This is the promise I have leaned into over the years, and this is the promise that has become a miraculous reality for me. Praise be to God!

Submitted Anonymously on 11/30/2021

How much did it take for me? I have said this to a diverse number of people, even my own family who continues in their paths of sin. I'll never forget the day that I simply said, "Lord Jesus, just take care of me." Three events took place before I would surrender.

It all started with my Grandmother Lois, who rested in the Lord. It was she who took her three Grandchildren in tow to church. It would be her bold access into the throne room of grace, a grand intercession on my behalf begging God to free me from the bonds of sin so that I might live outside of homosexual identification. To be freed from sin. Her access into this grace began to cause a sort of stumbling.

In 2009 I began to have moments where my hardened heart and mixed up mind that had been swathed with drugs and alcohol started to see wrong. At first I didn't associate the unrighteousness to myself, but only in general judgement. This was, I suppose, a sort of softening to what was coming next. This same year I was diagnosed with two viruses contracted sexually that would require medication. Born in 1975, I was completely immersed in the fears and prejudices of a new epidemic that history has show was exacerbated by those with similar proclivities.

All of my life it was said that indecent and reckless sexual behavior could result in destruction. It did. The news came to me from a stranger who had revealed the devastating news to countless men. Surely their regret was the same as mine, but for me it was much more than regret. Death surfaced into my reality. Unfortunately, two of the events mentioned wasn't enough to usher in the urgency to repent.

The man who I call ‘my evangelist’, a fellow drinker, user and homosexual peer didn't die so that I might finally get the point. He lived in the community and was a friend for more than a decade. Although I knew him, we were never together. I didn't like his fervency to bend the truth. But the day he came into the bar and witnessed to me, somehow I had no choice but to take him seriously. "Guess what I've done?” he said. “I gave my life back to Jesus." Very soon after our conversation, my evangelist died.

The culmination of these three events would help me cry out to Jesus. Psalms 107:17-22 perfectly describes this moment and the continuation into an absolute freedom that today I would never trade in for the temporal moments I clamored after for those, what can be described as the most horrible fifteen years of my life.

I, in Christ Jesus, continue to say no to a nature buried into His death.

The life that I live today I truly live unto God. How could I live any other way but the way of righteousness? The unbreakable truth for me and everyone throughout the body of Christ is this, "By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" Romans 6:2

Nine years later the Lord sent to me, my wife Angela! A blessed woman in Christ. She is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. We share a deep love and my Father's favor forever gives me an example of His personal provision for me.

God has given more than I deserve. He has allowed Angela's daughters and four grandchildren to see me as father. They eagerly garner wisdom that has been liberally given unto me. But God didn't stop there. Together my wife and I have adopted twins. A boy and girl that I love so much, more than myself. God has given me a sort training, a constant training, in understanding His, my Father’s, heart as he has prepared my heart to be just as He is, a father.

Submitted by Chris R. on 11/23/2021

I was raised in a very traditional Catholic household. I recall at a young age not agreeing with everything I was being taught by the church, but questioning things was never encouraged. So even though I knew Jesus, there was this great disconnect in my life.

I moved away to college and found myself distancing further from the church. I met a young man and within a short time we were engaged and married very young...because that’s what you do, right? Not having God as the center of our marriage things quickly fell apart and I was now single with two kids. I eventually remarried but this time I recognized if we were going to have a long marriage we needed God so I again began attending mass and became very involved with my church.

Fast forward 7 years and I was staring down the barrel of my second divorce after discovering my husband was meeting other men on the internet. I was not prepared for this and, of course, did the only thing I knew how to do...got angry at God for “giving” me a husband who was unfaithful. I distinctly remember walking outside the day I found out and I threw my hands in the air, glanced up and said, “Seriously? This is what you send me?”.

Shortly thereafter I started a new job and the owners were Christians who continually talked with me about a god who loved me and wanted to know me. I couldn’t believe it. I attended church with them and immediately felt out of place. This was not what I had been taught church looked like! So I found a catholic church in Marshfield and attended mass regularly, yet my new bosses did not give up on me.

They gifted me with a Bible and a devotional that I began to read and one of the first verses I came across was John 16:33; “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” It connected in my heart that I was not meant to bear all these things alone and that Jesus was there to walk through these trials with me. I realized God never sent these bad things to me but rather I was trying to control every aspect of my life. I was so overcome that I found a church to explore this new sense of peace I had.

For the first time in my life I didn’t feel ashamed of who I was and what lived in my past.

During these last three year of my new walk with the Lord I have dealt with some significant struggles. But because of who Jesus is, and what He did for me on the cross, I am able to surrender control of those things to Him. Now I continue to watch His hand of blessing cover my life. He has blessed my life abundantly and I am forever changed.

Submitted Anonymously on 11/21/2021

The plane landed and my mask was completely drenched with tears and snot.  Before I boarded the two and a half hour flight from Charlotte to Madison I had called the CCU to check on my husband to see if he was still stable and if the CT showed anything new. The call had gotten disconnected, I was an absolute wreck.  

My parents were there at the curb just as I walked outside.  Mom gave me a big hug as the phone rang.  It was the hospital and he was stable under a medically induced coma and intubated.  The brain bleed (hemorrhagic stroke) had caused increased pressure in his skull and he was under close watch.  By God’s grace he didn’t need surgery to relieve the pressure, however not out of the woods yet. Having a medical background, I know things can change quickly.

24 hours ago I when I received the call I knew my life, our life…was never EVER going to be the same again. Would Kurt even remember who I am? Will he be able to speak or see me? Will they let me see him in the hospital with covid restrictions in place?  Will I be a widow at 43?  Will he have the same personality?  Will he ever be able to walk again?

Brain damage in any form is the toughest, longest recovery and no one is every quite the same afterwards. Yet while I have all of these terrible, scary thoughts racing in my head I was never angry at God…

Underneath all of that deep down I had this little voice saying
“this is My plan for you both.”

Fast forward two weeks later, Kurt is extubated and I need to start making decisions. My mentality was “I will do anything for my husband, I don’t care how much it costs because he deserves the best.”  I was trying to control everything, because that’s how God wired me.  I had to have a good plan in place, ask the right questions, site visits, and interview rehabs on who has the best new therapies and renovated rooms because Kurt deserves to be comfortable as he is trying to learn his new normal.

Every option I thought to be a great fit was denied because of insurance.  After screaming, playing phone tag, being stuck on hold for hours out of the day, crying every night and telling myself to stay strong - I gave up and threw my hands to the Lord.  God, I can’t do this anymore.  You have to take over.

I knew He was there, I had been talking to Him every day…but speaking to Him is different than asking for help, this time it was a plea.  I was absolutely exhausted - I was broken.
 
And you know when I did that?  When I laid my burdens on God and let Him take over? I felt so relieved.

Kurt was in His hands, and He was there for me too.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”  1 Peter 5:7
“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” John 15:2

Submitted by Katie O. on 11/18/21

My story is not one I particularly want to tell. It’s not one I like. Rife with drama, heartache and stupid decisions. Such is life I suppose.

I grew up in a Christian home. Did the church-ey things like Sunday school and Awana. I accepted Christ young and got baptized in middle school. It didn’t become my own until high school when I made it my own. I was able to be in a small group that dove into Bible doctrine and apologetics.

My true test of faith didn’t happen until college, when I found myself alone. But, I pulled myself up and said God is real. I’m going to follow him, and life went on. It went well. Things fell into place, despite earlier loss and heart ache. I lost my first grandpa, as well as discovered my advisor gave me the wrong advice and I basically wasted a whole semester. My older sister was in Argentina with The Navigators. It was…hard.

My last semester of college I unwillingly was caught up in some drama between two friends. They were friends with me but not with each other. All I remember is that it was over a boy and it was a case of she said this, she said that and I didn’t know what to believe. They both left me. This unfortunately impacted me in ways I never knew. This was nine years ago. Dang.

Anyway, graduated college, toured Wisconsin on job interviews, met my husband at summer camp, landed a job and moved to a very small town in Wisconsin. It was…harder than I expected. Soon I felt abandoned by God. Coming from college and camp where He is felt so fully and close, to now living in the desert. I still did all the christian things. But I didn’t ‘feel’ God. I let resentment and bitterness into my heart.

Time passed. Got married, left the job for an internship, got pregnant and moved to Marshfield where I became a mom. The husband and I church shopped around, and landed at North Ridge. Still feeling a little lost, abandoned and resentful.

Our marriage has been tested, but not broken. We added baby number two into the chaos. Life continues on its way. But my babes are growing and even though I’m not sure where God and I are at I know He’s the truth, and I want that for my babes.

I came to realize I’m not a good mom without Him. Baby steps for me then, towards reconciliation.

My lonely, hurt heart starts to reach out. Very tentatively. It seems so silly when I write it down. No big earth shattering thing other than my feelings, which we know are not to be trusted.
My best friend of 10 years passed away this summer. Brain tumor. He was a steady presence in my life with unwavering faith. His death rocked me to my core, but it finally challenged me enough. I decided to let God back in. I’m sad it took my friends’ death for it to happen. But I’m grateful he’s my great cloud of witnesses. He’s going to be a hard act to follow.

Slowly and surely, we are working on letting God back in. To burn away my feelings of abandonment and loneliness. Rather a slow burn story I guess. Wonder what the rest will be like?

Submitted Anonymously on 11/17/2021

It was as if I had heard “The Story I’ll Tell” message series 18 years before it was preached at North Ridge.  Three years before that I had been an unchurched, depressed teenager that was radically transformed by God’s grace during my senior year of high school.  Now as a college sophomore my faith had grown by leaps and bounds but there were parts of my sinful nature that needed to be addressed.  I grabbed a marker and piece of paper off my dorm room desk and began to write.  What came next was something only the Holy Spirit could write…

“I am child of God, I refuse to base my self-worth on how I look, who I date or what activities I’m involved in.  My worth should spring from the passion I have for the man who died broken on a cross for my sins, my savior who formed me into who I am today and who I will be in the future with His guidance.  I am here to serve Him, to see people as He sees them and not how society sees them, to focus not only on my life but the big picture.  When I look in the mirror, I will see a woman that is constantly learning and above all, I will see that I am God’s child.”

This piece of paper remained taped to my mirror throughout most of my years in college.  Afterwards I folded it and put it in the Bible I got when I became a Christian, one of my most prized possessions.  Like a lot of other photos and papers, it remained tucked in my Bible as reminders of what the Lord had done in my life over the years.

Earlier this week I pulled it back out to see how it compared to what we were talking about at NRC now. I was struck by God’s faithfulness and the prophetic words I wrote out all those years ago. “I am here to serve Him, to see people as He seems them and not how society sees them.” Little did I know at the time how the Lord would lead me into ministry with juvenile delinquents--ministry with the “bad kids”, the “troublemakers”, the “damaged”, the “wrong crowd”, the “criminals” … the list goes on of the labels they get.

I’m now in the process of reflecting and praying over what an updated grounding statement will be for me. The closest thing I have had in recent years is a verse I got tattooed on my wrist: “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.” - Luke 4:18

Submitted by Liz G. on 11/17/21

The book of Leviticus reveals the strict laws for people who have a disease/condition called leprosy. This disease causes one to be unclean and unworthy of living and worshiping God in the community. Instead, they were banished to live among other lepers outside of the city. They were required to live in shame by tearing their clothes, uncovering their head and expose their upper lip. They must inform people of their condition by shouting “unclean” when they were passing in the street.  It was a life of rejection by normal society. It is a hopeless life filled with shame. Because he has leprosy, he knows that he is defective and unwanted. He lives isolated, lonely, and filled with self-loathing.

Even though this original disease is very rare today, I have a different form of this disease that is a result of my sin. I am a modern-day leper.  The type of leprosy that I have is now called sexual sin.  It’s a condition that takes many forms and can often be concealed in secret.  At least until it is exposed publicly as it happened for me.
 
It all started with discovering pornography at age 9.  Since then, it has been a part of me for much of my life.  I would become disgusted with myself after hearing a sermon and throw away my porn stash.  I made many promises to God that I would not look at it again.  Then, my unwanted desires would come back and I would get more. I asked God to take away my desires but it felt like God was not listening to me. I lived with cycle of bingeing and purging my porn habit that seemed to rule over me. I felt like those lepers; full of shame, disgust, and alone. However, nobody knew about my secret life of pornography.

This cycle continued until my desires were not satisfied by regular porn. I turned to more graphic and illegal pornography. I believed my identity on the innerweb was a secret while searching this kind of porn until a team of federal agents from Homeland Security entered my home and handcuffed me on my kitchen floor. I was later released from those handcuffs and they allowed me to remain free until I was sentenced by a judge 18 months later.
 
My secrets had been exposed and soon the whole town would know. Worst of all, my wife and family!

My wife had to leave her work and come home to talk with the agents in our home.  She was in shock and mortified by what she was learning about her husband. She also had a business trip that required her to travel that afternoon. Leaving me alone to ponder my failed life. That was the worst day of my life. But now I understand it as the best day of my life!

After I delivered my wife at the airport for her trip, I began praying to God while I drove.  “God, please take my life!  Please send a big deer, or a moose in my path as I drive home. Take me out of this world so I don’t have to face my shame in public.” God answered my prayer with a resounding NO! I didn’t even see a squirrel on the road that day.

That night I wrestled with God even more.  I asked him why he didn’t answer my prayers to help me stop looking at porn.  I was mad at him for not taking away my unwanted desires. I even told him that I was struggling to believe if he was even real. Several hours passed as He wrestled me back to the truth of His word.  I finally tapped out and surrendered.  
I chose to believe he was real and I asked him to prove to me that he was.

There was no special miracle or revelation, no burning bush, no dream, just a promise that he would reveal himself to me through his word and through other Christians who understood grace better than I could imagine.

My eyes were drowning in tears so I held my Bible close to my chest hoping that truth would transfer to me just by holding it. That’s the night God redeemed me from my sin.  He touched my leprosy and began the healing process of renewing my mind.

During my 18 months of freedom before my prison sentence, I dove head first into God’s word and learned to do what it says I should do.  I put scripture verses on the mirror, in my car, at my workstation. I learned who I was in Jesus and for the first time and believed it. I began to seek reconciliation in broken relationships. I drove 172 miles every week to meet with other men who wanted freedom from the leprosy that porn and sexual sin causes in our lives. Together we found hope and encouraged each other to continue the journey of freedom.

Through this journey, I have experienced the love and grace of Jesus like never before!  He was with me through 6.5 years of prison.  He is with me now as I am released to re-join this world. I will always carry the scars and labels of a leper’s life; felon, ex-con, sex offender.  The law of this land requires that I do. Some days it increases my desire to hide from everyone and wallow in that old shame. Every day I must make a decision not to wear my shame or let my past define me.

I also must remind myself that God has redeemed me from my sin! I am set free from the chains that once locked me to my unwanted desires. I no longer need to feel rejected, ashamed, unloved.
 
I have a truer picture of who God is and how he sees me; Loved, accepted and redeemed by His grace!

He is with me now and will remain with me forever!  I am a redeemed leper!

My story doesn’t end here because my journey has only begun.  I look forward to what God has in-store for me on this journey.  I am grateful for the work that God has done in my life! For now, I leave you with this promise. There is no sin too great that would cause God to reject you. He is bigger than any sin, any problem that you may be facing. He can heal a modern-day leper like me, he will heal you too! Just ask him.

Submitted by Bryan E. on 11/15/2021

One of four amazing miracles our God has so graciously performed in my personal body and life played out on Interstate 694 in Minnesota. Having just flown into Minneapolis from Oklahoma on a flight that had been delayed one hour due to foggy conditions, a friend, Maxine, and I were intent on driving to Eau Claire with no additional delay in order to be on time for an appointment there.

As I drove on the two lane, divided highway, the car ahead of us was traveling under the speed limit, so I decided to pass that car. In my attempt to complete that action, the steering wheel would not move for me and I had no choice but to stay in the right lane behind the slow car. As we traveled a small incline and reached the crest of a knoll, it became apparent that
it was an angel who had held the steering wheel for a reason God knew.

Just over the knoll, we observed the scene of a multiple car accident blocking the passing lane. Had the angel allowed me to move my car into the passing lane, we would have assuredly plowed into those cars. Our lives were spared and no further damage was allowed to occur to the people and cars involved in the accident. Our loving God was watching over us just as He promises in Psalm 91:11, “For He orders His angels to protect you wherever you go.”
Our angel guided us safely and on time to our Eau Claire destination!

A telling of the other three miracles in my life would further confirm another of God’s promises in II Chronicles 16: 9a. “For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth looking for people whose hearts are fully committed to Him so He can show His power in helping them.”

What a joy it is to serve a caring, loving and protective Father! One never knows when God is going to work a miracle in our life giving us a story to tell.

Submitted by Marilyn P. on 11/15/21

You’d never guess that this was a day for an epic miracle merely by looking at the water.
I’m staring. Staring at the subtle current, if you could call it that. It’s moving, but not even enough to be an official ripple. The liquid dances and somehow seems to return to where it was, but on a microscopic scale. I did what was asked… walked to the edge, laughed in the face of fear and doubt, followed the cloud before me and a fire by night.

And yet here I stand… staff lifted; hand outstretched. Nothing.

Enemies are closing in from all around and the betting people wager that we’re goners. They’re not wrong.

Alas, no movement. No fanfare announcing that the transformation is about to begin and the new phase will unfold.  Nothing.

I feel like caterpillars have some kind of warning that things are about to get weird. Or there’s a universal indicator that when x part of you starts to become goo it means you’ve got 20 minutes to get your affairs in order.

But I stand. And wait.  Is time really going this slowly or is it all in my mind? They say that with things like car crashes or near-death experiences that somehow it can feel like things took forever between the impact and the jarring jolt back to reality.

“Be still,” I hear gently on the breeze. Ok, so I’ll stand here like an idiot with my arms upraised and just be still. I should do more bench presses if I ever get out of this. My arms feel weak and I’m not sure I can do this much longer.

I wish I could hear the playbook behind all this. Is it like a football playoff? Where once all things are lined up, then the crowd goes wild with the clutch play? Maybe it’s more like gentle chimes when each prerequisite is met.

Regardless, I face the seemingly impossible expanse of water before me, pleading for something to start happening.  Tell me that I’m nearer the end of this pain to be able to again feel the sun gently shine on my face.

Truth be told, I’m not Moses. I’m quite certain I would have lost my nerve in the face of all the adversity he and his people faced. While I like to think I trust when God speaks, I know I’m much more inclined to think things through in my head and later consult the Almighty to see if He agrees with what I’ve decided is the right path.

Yet the water did move.  “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

My mind most days cannot compute how being still equals action, but it does.

I choose to not have to be in control. I choose to surrender my worry (which is no easy task, because worry feels easy and right and comforting.) I’m not good at it, but I must fight against those ice-cream thoughts and choose the kale.

When the crisis is so acute and large it’s human nature to want to know when the suffering will be over. And yet, if we had those answers, there’d be no victory in our trusting in the middle of the circumstance. There’s a quote from the film “The Heart of Man” that states “Without the ability to say no, there is no power in saying yes."

So as hard as it is to find that place to be still, I relax. Change the angle of my shoulders. Release the tension and close my eyes. I don’t need to see that the waves are moving. I need to trust that in that stillness, He who hung the stars and spoke universes into existence is fighting for me.

Submitted by Amy M. on 11/15/21

When my daughter went to college, I struggled with becoming an empty nester because we did a lot together. With leaving home, difficult studies and tests, she did too. I went to church more often to pray for her strength and guidance from Jesus.

In her second year of college she got pregnant, so there were more prayers for good health and a healthy baby. When my granddaughter was born the love of God was poured into my heart because she was just so beautiful! Then, more prayers for my daughter to have strength to raise a newborn, continue her studies and graduate - which she did. When my granddaughter was two, her father decided to leave and didn’t look back! More prayers were said for her to get through this, and for me as well.

Now she has a great job and I’m so proud of her because she is doing so well. Throughout this “college journey” in both of our lives there were many prayers. In the short journey, God placed his Spirit in my heart as He answered (every one of them!) my prayers.

This has strengthened my faith tremendously!

Like the saying goes…”When it comes to prayers God has only three answers, yes…not yet…and I have something else in mind.” Praise God!

Submitted by Brian L. on 11/14/21

I grew up in a church that was more interested in talking about hellfire and brimstone than anything else. They sure liked to highlight our depravity and unworthiness so much, but didn’t usually follow that up with the truth of the hope we had in Jesus. I remember a powerful turning point in my christian walk happened one Wednesday night at Bible Study.

On this night, we were studying Romans. The Holy Spirit (whom I really didn’t understand anything about at the time) opened up God’s word in a new way. We read Romans 8:1, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”

And I stopped and stared at the page. “NO condemnation? Like, none?” I remember feeling giddy, yet confused at the same time.

When I got home, mom was doing the dishes and dad was around. I said “So why didn’t anyone tell me about what grace really is? Like God forgave me for all of my sin. ALL of it. Even the stuff I didn’t do yet. And He’s not mad at me.” Without looking at me mom said “well yeah, you know that hunny.” And I just stood there staring. I became absolutely furious. “WHY HAVE YOU LET ME LIVE MY LIFE NOT UNDERSTANDING THIS?” I was ticked and my mom seemed mildly upset that I didn’t know this simple reality.

That night I realized that God’s forgiveness was absolute. The reality of His grace was made real to me in a deep way. It changed everything, literally everything, about my life. I believe that was the first time, at sixteen, that I experienced true freedom.

Submitted by MS on 11/13/21

Toilet paper and tobacco seemed like all the supplies that this bunch of high school boys needed. This is how most of Friday nights started. We were too cheap to buy the toilet paper rolls so we systematically stole them from the janitor’s closet at school. Walking around my friend’s neighborhood tossing TP into trees exemplified our carefree attitudes. Nick started bring some chewing tobacco and that made us feel older and more dangerous. No one told us not to swallow our salvia with chew tucked in our lip, so after leaving Paul puking in the ditch to go get a wagon to carry him home in, we gave up on the chew. I felt like there was a lot that no one was telling me.

As a 17-year-old I had nine months to figure life out before I was thrust on my own in college.  “I could do it,” I thought, “Plenty of others had done this before me.” So, when a friend invited me to his church on a Wednesday night I accepted because there was a promise of cute girls and possible an answer to my question of, “what’s next?” Possibly someone could tell me. I never expected a short, late 30’s, over-the-top-excited church guy, to be that person.

As some of the same friends, who the last week had used perfect propulsion to launch toilet paper into trees, stood stretching out their hamstrings in church so we wouldn’t pull a muscle during the singing portion of the youth ministry, I was wondering about the pastor’s words. Could it possibly be true that God wanted a friendship with me? I thought God was just waiting for me to mess up so he could throw a road block into my path towards fun.

I realized how serious God’s desire for a real relationship with me was when this pastor showed up at my next Cross-Country meet. He had come often to support the football team, but no one volunteers to watch kids run in and out of the woods. However, something clicked deep inside me as pastor Kevin cheered my name next to my just-as-surprised mom; If this man was willing to cheer me on, then I was willing to give this relationship with God thing a try.

I prayed for salvation probably a dozen times because it was so freeing to know that my mistakes, sins, failings, and shortcomings weren’t actually what God cared about. Pastor Kevin finally let me know that I didn’t have to keep praying for salvation, that Jesus had given me a new heart, his heart; one with purpose and hope for tomorrow and forever. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Someone was actually telling me what life was about, the plan! I had yearned for someone to just tell me what my purpose and life was about, I’m so glad that person was God.

Today, I still listen to that someone who gave me His heart by transforming mine. It’s my privilege to tell you and others the same.  That Jesus has the same plan for you, a plan full of hope, with purpose, and connection from your heart to His.

Submitted by Preston T. on 11/11/21

It was the summer of 2014, I was almost 21. That winter before my mom and six younger siblings finally left my dad, Paul. His cover was blown and his sins lay rotting and ugly in the light of truth. Accepting the cold, hard reality of the life I had lived this far, the abuse I and my family endured and my deep grief was suffocating.  My sister worked at a Christian summer camp and I had a lot to run away from, so I went to work with her for the season as a camp counselor. I was angry at God, like, really angry. I felt a heavy weight of shame, unworthiness and self-loathing constantly. I wasn't enough. I didn't deserve to have a father who loved me or was proud of me. My life would be an ever progressing catastrophe. These are the thoughts I dwelled on.

One day my sister, Beck, and I were walking back to a cabin and I just lost it. I cried, no, bawled. I went into a full blown, hyperventilating panic attack and crumbled into the gravel in the middle of the road. She held me tight as I cried and just blubbered about wanting to be worth something. Over the coming days she spoke truth over me. She shared scriptures of who God said I was. At first it was like nails on a chalkboard, my shame hissing at the light of truth that was trying to peek into my soul. She encouraged me to write down truths to combat the lies in my mind. She helped me come up with "I am good. I am valued. I am loved. My past is not who I am. I do not need to fear the future. I am not crazy. My feelings matter. I can be victorious. My life is good. I can change." I put these words in a reminder on my phone that went off every day at 7am. I read them out loud to myself and as I spoke truth about who I was, my life changed forever. A crazy thing happened in the coming months. I began to BELIEVE what I was saying.

Beck helped me pick a Bible like hers and we ordered it (it's falling apart now.) She wrote me a list of biblical truths about who I am as God's child. The more I read scriptures about who I was, I discovered who God truly is. In the presence of His kindness, love, acceptance and mercy - I was made whole.

Submitted by,
Mary Sue | 11/3/21